Work in Progress

About a year ago, the Lord gave me a promise - that I would soar like a bird. He also told me that there were gifts and talents that He had given me that I wasn't even aware of. I was going through a really rough time, and that promise was all I had to cling to. So fast-forward to today, I'm in a job that I love that's pulling creativity out of me and allowing me to evolve into the confident person I've always wanted to be.

At the same time, He's telling me to start cultivating artistic talents He's given me. It's not something I've really allowed myself to develop. I've always labeled myself as completely un-creative and since I assumed all artists were creative, I automatically blocked myself out of that bunch. It's been a hard mental block to get myself past. But when our church decided to host their first art exhibition, God told me to start working on it again. I've been fairly impressed with what I've done ... and I've really struggled with that.

I'm not sure if it's the label of "artist" or a battle with pride. I'm certainly aware that any talent the Lord has given me is completely a gift from Him. It's all been Him working through me. But for some reason, I've struggled with feeling blue as I've worked on my two pieces for the exhibit. The only thing I can come up with is that I associate artists with a certain stigmatism. I see them as different, liberal, with dark tendencies and people that hang in weird crowds. I'm not exactly sure why I lump all artists in that group, but I just know I don't want to be included in that bunch.

So maybe I just need to redefine the term within my own mind. Maybe I'm just redefining who I am. As life changes, I seem to change quite a bit with it. From being the single version of me who was pretty certain of who I was, to being married and having to figure that out. To now being a mom and balancing this new role with that of wife. I don't think that I want to have to redefine myself once again ... at least not yet. I don't feel like I'm ready for that. However, I am quite certain that the Lord really does know what He's doing.

God, help me to be ok with me today. I know that you're working to mold me to Your image, and each day I'll be a little different than I was the day before. So I shouldn't try to settle into who I am, because I won't be that way for long.